Some old crumby memories...

God. I think I'm having some aftershocks.... i mean, after writing some of these stuff and all, suddenly everything comes back to my goddam head. and i did some crazy stuff today. all of a sudden i just thought about opening the crumby cabinet in the room. i have my old stuff there like the pictures, notebooks, books, and all those crumby old stuff that people save. like i have this old school paper from my HS. and its full of poems written by students which are all corny, to tell ye the truth. theres this girl who wrote about some 'cheesy' stuff on love. theres this guy trying to write some "political" stuff -- just trying to sound smart and all. and of course all school papers should be full of stuff about that goddam prom. i dont even want to think about it. then ye see some old pics with yer old friends including those who are no longer yer friends. then you'll see some old test papers. for chrissake, i saved my test papers. i dont even know why. i just dont want to throw anything, perhaps. and some sort of letters from friends which i dont really understand. i mean, sometimes friends give me some letters just saying all those crazy and corny things which mean one thing -- "thanks for being a friend". thats all they want to say but they still have to write it which just make them sound more phony. and im crazy coz i saved all of them. i dont know. looking at these stuff and thinking about how everything has changed makes me feel so depressed. i mean have ye ever thought about the former "you"? in my case, the former "roi". have you ever thought how much things have changed over the years? like yer views, attitudes, interests and all that crap. have ye stopped for a moment to think about those problems you used to have, those people you've always wanted to be with and all and years later you'll be thinking where they are, how they've all been, who they ended up with and how come you're not having those stupid problems you used to have. its crazy. its really depressing to wonder what those people are doing right now. like its been 90 years since you saw them and ye dont have any idea what theyre up to now. or if theyre still alive.
i swear its crazy. dont even think about anything like this.